I have discovered another weakness.

I have discovered another weakness of mine. I have not been able to stand up to my commitment once again. I have once disappointed a friend of mine for this. It almost cost me a beautiful friendship. Now it seems that I am doing it again. How can I be so unreliable?

Create a pure heart in me, O God, and put a new loyal spirit in me.

Learn to forgive and ask forgiveness.

I wanted to blame my family but I cannot because I know its wrong. We just cannot control the circumstances. I just need to learn to set my priorities straight. And most of all, to ask forgiveness to those I have offended for not being true to my word.

It's a battle in the mind.

Sometimes I question myself. Do I really mean what I am saying when talk I about God's love and salvation? What proof have I to show the people? Am I really a rightful witness for Jesus? Sometimes I doubt. And when this oppressive spirit darts its arrows at me, I shrink back and question my motives. Am I really living for Jesus or am I just showing myself off? Then, there is this conflict within me.

Clips from the movie, Joan of Arc. Song, Warrior is a Child. Artist, Twila Paris.

What is the right thing to do? Different people have different expectations. We cannot meet all these expectations at the same time. Even if we try, we will just end up getting miserable. We cannot please all people at the same time. But there is one person that we need to please for all time - God. And God is never that hard to please because He already is pleased with us even before we ever thought of pleasing him.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:10-12)

So the next time an oppressive spirit throws its flaming arrows at me, I just remind myself of this scripture in Paul's letter to the Ephesians. As long as I have the full armor of God put on, I shall be able to stand strong against the attacks of the enemy.

We are the reason that He gave His life.

I was looking for a music video to accompany my next blog. It was suppose to be about Jesus washing his disciples' feet. This is the message I have received in my email from the daily devotional. I already had a specific song in mind when I stumbled upon this music video. I was so caught up with the dramatic presentation and the lyrics of the song. I guess this is what you call divine assistance because somehow it would still relate to Jesus' loving gesture of washing his disciples' feet.

Jesus who was God chose to humble himself and serve mankind by offering his life to take man's place in suffering the consequences of sin. He could have just destroyed us all and created another set of creatures that he could love and cherish. But he did not. His love for man was so great that he would rather die than see them suffer the consequences of their wickedness.

I was reminded of our high school musical as I watched this video. It was the story of the centurion who made the choice to live for Jesus not for the miracles he had seen Jesus do but for the love he showed him through his death on the cross. The song in the play echoes in my head.

"I choose Jesus. Not for miracles but for loving me. Not for Bethlehem but for Calvary."

He was wounded for our transgressions. And by his wounds we are healed.

If I were to take the place of the centurion in the play, I would have also done the same thing. I would choose to live for Jesus. After everything I have seen in the life of Jesus, all my doubts about God's love would have been eliminated from my mind. Who in his right mind would choose to waste his life suffering for a people that do not even seem to care? Only Jesus would do that because he loves us so much.

Beautiful Jesus, Beautiful Savior

I had subscribed to an online devotional and I just want to share the latest message I received in my email. It had really struck my heart with great conviction and awe. Jesus truly is our Beautiful Savior.

Beautiful Savior. Brilliant Creator. Friend of Mine.

Here is a copy of the email message from that online devotional. The title of the article is "Bathed in Blood". It is a meditation on the scripture verse in 1 John 1:7.

Have you ever felt like you needed a bath? Maybe you felt like you were covered in dirt or sweat. Maybe you were grungy from working outside. Or sweaty from exercising. Maybe you touched something and imagined picking up a lot of germs from it. I felt this way when I hopped in the shower a few days ago. All I wanted to do was lather up with soap from head to toe and not miss any spots!

This got me thinking about our sin. Have you ever felt dirty after sinning, like you wanted a shower, even though that doesn't undo what you just did, said or thought? Instead of a shower with soap and water, we need to be bathed in the blood of Jesus. Jesus takes his blood and covers us to wash away our sin. And just like we don't just cover up the dirt when we bathe - it is actually removed, so our sin is actually removed.

So how often do you ask Jesus to bathe in His blood? Is it only when you feel dirty with sin? I've begun making a habit of being washed in the blood while I'm also being washed with soap. When I get in the shower, I ask Jesus to wash over me with His blood to take away my sin, just as I wash myself to take away dirt and grime. And just like there are days where more than one shower is necessary, there are plenty of days where more than one washing in the blood is necessary!

"Jesus, thank you for providing enough blood to wash each one of us. Thank you that your blood is perfect and that it does have the power to wash sin away! Please forgive us for not bathing often enough in your blood. I know there are weeks I must smell filthy in your sight, just as I would on earth if I didn't shower for a week. Help us to remember to take time to ask and be bathed in your blood each day and as often as we need it. In Jesus’ name, amen!"

Just like we need water baths, so we frequently need to bathe in the blood of Jesus.

Jesus: The Way, The Truth and The Life.

We all have our moments of filth in our lives. Just as our physical bodies get dirty from all the day's work, it cannot be avoided that our spirit will also get stained with sin. Fortunately, we have the abundance of the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross to wash those stains away.

Your heart is where your treasure is.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Have you ever been asked that question? Do you remember when you applied for a job? You were asked to describe how you see yourself in five or ten years. What was your answer?

My deepest desire is to honor Christ. Only by the cross I am saved. | To Live is Christ. Parachute Band

I had been asked those questions many times before. But my answers were different in each situation. They keep changing every time. When I was in second grade, I wanted to be 911 call center agent. In the fifth grade, I wanted to be an artist. When I entered high school, I wanted to be an explorer. In the second year, I wanted to be a poet like Shakespeare. I also wanted to be a songwriter. In our computer class, I wanted to be a programmer. In my senior year, I wanted to be an editor of a magazine.

College came and my priorities changed. I took up a course in Information Technology and thought of becoming an IT systems administrator. But when I got involved in ministry, I suddenly dreamed of becoming a preacher. My scholarship ended and so does my hope of receiving my diploma.

I had to quit. I keep failing many times. I had never been successful in anything.

I had to quit school and get a job. I became a service crew in a fast food. In there, I dreamed of becoming manager. But my contract ended and I still did not achieve any of my dreams. That, however, did not stop my young and vibrant mind from searching. I got a better job in the call center. I enjoyed it. My dream of becoming manager was kept alive. But it never came true. I kept moving from place to place but nothing seems to satisfy my hungry, restless heart.

I began to feel hopeless. Perhaps it is because of my poor scholastic background. I could never get ahead in life because I am a dumb college drop out. I am not smart enough. I do not have the right skills. I could not even get my diploma. Then, I realized that happiness is not about things I see outside of me. If I want to be happy, then all I have to do is look within.

What is it do I really want in life? What is the deepest desire of my heart? What really makes me happy? What stirs my passion? What keeps me moving? What do I enjoy doing? I could not find the answer to my questions because I had been looking in the wrong places. I tried to fill my life with all these things but I never tried to find out what my heart is really yearning for. So I learned that to pursue happiness, you need to start within. Look into your heart. That is where your treasure is. Antoine de Saint - Exupery wrote in The Little Prince, "It is only in the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." True happiness can be found deep within. It is in your heart. Look into your heart and you will find what you have been searching for.

Into Deep Waters

The Sunday gospel on the 8th of February had really struck me. Through the years of serving the community as a cell facilitator, I had never seen the fruit of my labors. I thought I was an ineffective minister because I had never been able to bring a friend into the ministry. I could not even bring my own family. I could empathize with Peter when he had been casting the net all night but never caught any fish. It was then that Jesus called them.

Jesus said, "Put out into deep water and let down your nets for a catch."(Luke 5:4)

As a cell facilitator in a charismatic community, I have always been disappointed with my self. I could never seem to bring anyone of my friends to join the community. I have always felt like a total failure because I could not bring a single soul to Jesus.

Commission My Soul. Citipointe Live. Brisbane, Australia. Matthew 28: 19 - 20. Go and make disciples of all nations.

Now I know what it means in the faith to put out into deep waters. It could actually vary according the person's situation. It can imply different things to different people. As for me, it means going into deeper friendship with the people entrusted to my care as a minister. It means to build a strong fellowship with my peers just I build a strong relationship with God.